Just in case you haven't heard, 'breast is best'. This message is rammed so far down your throat during pregnancy that you might start to think you are poisoning your child if you give them formula. I do agree that the studies indicate breast milk is better than formula, and it logically makes sense to me too. What bothers me is that I think little thought is given to the mother's mental health.
Exclusively breast feeding can be exhausting and tie you to your child 24-7. It can mean that you can't leave your house for 3 hours without your child. I have a friend who loves that about breast feeding as she has an excuse to always be with her son, and I think that is trully wonderful. For me though, I need time to myself. I have always needed solitude. I also love the outdoors and being physically active. Luckily I have been able to express and leave my bub with a bottle so her dad or another carer can feed her. If you can't express though, then the only option is formula, or being permanently attached to your child.
About half the time of my ante-natal class was devoted to explaining why breast is best. Each person was given an item and had to explain what that item might indicate about the benefits of breast feeding. We got a stethoscope and the benefit was that your child is healthier so you spend less time at the doctors. One girl got a packet of the contraceptive pill. Erm... no, breast feeding is not a contraceptive! If you are trying to fall pregnant it might be a hindrance, but there are certainly a lot of breast feeding mums who fall pregnant. What annoyed me about this little exercise was that we didn't discuss the negatives of breast feeding, or even the positives of formula. So I would like to do that here. Here are some of the negatives that people don't really talk about:
* Engorgement. Why did nobody tell me about this? (OK one person did but she complained that nobody had told her)
* babies get teeth eventually.
* If you can't express, you can't leave your baby for more than 2-3 hours
* Your partner misses out on the bonding opportunity that feeding provides
* You might feel like a dairy cow - whenever I worry about things such as 'my supply' or when I hand express into a cup, I start to feel a little bovine.
* You have to get your boobs out all the time in public. A lot of people talk about how women should be made to feel comfortable feeding in public. The thing is, it isn't other people that make me uncomfortable. I never worry that other people will find it rude or offensive, I just don't like pulling up my shirt to expose my now flabby tummy. My daughter also likes to unlatch and look around a lot, just letting any passerby see my nipple. There are shawls and covers and these are great, but if my daughter is totally cracking it for a feed, I don't want to mess around, I get her straight to the boob.
* Your boobs keep changing size. I went and spent $180 on new sports bras and then my supply (moo) settled down a bit and my boobs got smaller. Awesome.
* Leakage. Sometime you don't just leak, you squirt milk like a sprinkler. Too bad if you forgot about putting nursing pads in your bra that day.
And here are some benefits of formula:
* Anyone can feed your baby!!! FREEDOM!
* Your partner has an additional opportunity for bonding with bub
* You can give formula cold. You can pre-prepare it, so it seems pretty convenient
* Your baby will go longer between feeds as it takes longer for them to digest formula
All up, I still choose to breast feed. I breast feed because it is free, my daughter's poos are far less offensive to the nose and it seems to be the healthier option. I have no issues expressing though. I might choose to mix feed if that was an issue for me. I would definitely be considering the importance of my mental health if I had to be permanently attached to my baby.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Brain Explosion
Just as there are good days, there are also bad days. Terrible days to be precise. On this occasion, I would like to call it 'The Camping Trip from Hell and the Aftermath'.
The Queens birthday long weekend seemed like an excellent camping opportunity so my best mate and I organised a trip to Byron with our little families. What could go wrong camping with a 2 month old and a 6 month old in the middle of winter? I felt pretty proud of myself for getting out there and doing things with my little one and introducing her to the great outdoors. I am now feeling a little embarrassed by my over confidence and wondering if maybe everybody else perceived me as a complete idiot, rather than brave.
Firstly, there was packing. I had no idea what to pack for bub so I packed everything. We were taking my parents campervan so me and L could sleep in there with our babies, so I just threw all of V's belongings in there. This led to us having a caravan we could barely move in and I couldn't find anything, like rubbish bags for nappies (yep fun times there).
On arrival, the receptionist informed me that we had sites 40 and 48 booked. "That doesn't sound like they are next to each other," I said. "They aren't," was the response. Apparently these things are not guaranteed. I am a little confused by this as when I made the booking we made sure the sites were side by side and there was no mention that this could change.I didn't complain as I didn't think it would really matter too much.
The worst part came on the second night though, when the skies opened up. Note to self: ALWAY BRING A TARP. It does not matter if you are in a caravan and have an awning, as rain comes in sideways sometimes. We had about 1 square metre of space to sit outside (and remember we couldn't sit inside as I had packed the contents of V's nursery in there). We considered that we could all sit in the tent, but with the bubs sleeping in the caravan, it wasn't really an option. There was a suggestion from the dads that we just watch them on the monitor but this was quickly shut down by L saying "we can't Madeline McCann the babies".
Next up on the agenda, the caravan started to leak. Then V started to scream. V has always been a good sleeper but she used the camping weekend to teach me what having a bad sleeper is like. I think we battled with her for about 2hrs to get to sleep. She eventually wore herself out from screaming. I went to bed too, hoping the gaffa tape would keep the rain out.
The next day the sun came out and I thought things might improve. The gaffa tape had held up. Surely we could have a nice walk around Byron and then play cards in the evening. It turns out that having two babies on different schedules and one who is quite sleep deprived, means things take a while. We eventually got our walk in but had to turn back before the lighthouse as the walk was not too stroller friendly after a certain point. Oh well, we could look forward to cards I thought...
Of course the skies opened up again. Oh well, we still had that square metre of dry space I thought. Then of course, V started screaming. She had found a new peak in volume. It was another two hour battle. The highlight of the evening came when V spat her dummy out on the ground so I went into the caravan to fetch a new sterilised one. As I walked back out of the caravan to give it to her, my feet slipped out from under me on the wet step and I fell right out of the caravan, grazing my neck and hurting my knee. I lay on the ground crying. I'm really not sure if it was because my knee hurt so much, or the trip had just become such a disaster. Eventually V went to sleep and so did I. The cards were not used, the boardgames stayed in the truck.
When we got home late on monday, I thought it would be good to get V back into her routine, but she screamed worse than ever. I had no idea what was wrong or how to settle her. It went on for hours and hours and when she did eventually sleep, it was only for short bursts. I was convinced I had damaged her by taking her camping. The next morning it was more of the same so I made an appointment with the doctor. As we were driving there, V started to sneeze and sniffle in the back of the car and by the time I was parked, it was pretty clear that poor bub had a cold. Things were on the improve I thought, as now I knew what was wrong. I hadn't damaged my child. We could get through this.
I got out of the car and pulled out the pram, only to discover that it was broken. Icing on the cake there.
The last few days have been pretty crappy. V sleeps for about 20 mins at a time and screams most the time she is awake. This morning I managed to pay some bills and eat breakfast. This is a huge accomplishment compared to what I have in the last two days. At some point I plan to start running again and getting things done. I just have to get over this wonderful cold that I have caught.
Still though, I am already planning our next trip. We will take a tarp or two this time, and make sure the camp sites are next to each other.
The Queens birthday long weekend seemed like an excellent camping opportunity so my best mate and I organised a trip to Byron with our little families. What could go wrong camping with a 2 month old and a 6 month old in the middle of winter? I felt pretty proud of myself for getting out there and doing things with my little one and introducing her to the great outdoors. I am now feeling a little embarrassed by my over confidence and wondering if maybe everybody else perceived me as a complete idiot, rather than brave.
Firstly, there was packing. I had no idea what to pack for bub so I packed everything. We were taking my parents campervan so me and L could sleep in there with our babies, so I just threw all of V's belongings in there. This led to us having a caravan we could barely move in and I couldn't find anything, like rubbish bags for nappies (yep fun times there).
On arrival, the receptionist informed me that we had sites 40 and 48 booked. "That doesn't sound like they are next to each other," I said. "They aren't," was the response. Apparently these things are not guaranteed. I am a little confused by this as when I made the booking we made sure the sites were side by side and there was no mention that this could change.I didn't complain as I didn't think it would really matter too much.
The worst part came on the second night though, when the skies opened up. Note to self: ALWAY BRING A TARP. It does not matter if you are in a caravan and have an awning, as rain comes in sideways sometimes. We had about 1 square metre of space to sit outside (and remember we couldn't sit inside as I had packed the contents of V's nursery in there). We considered that we could all sit in the tent, but with the bubs sleeping in the caravan, it wasn't really an option. There was a suggestion from the dads that we just watch them on the monitor but this was quickly shut down by L saying "we can't Madeline McCann the babies".
Next up on the agenda, the caravan started to leak. Then V started to scream. V has always been a good sleeper but she used the camping weekend to teach me what having a bad sleeper is like. I think we battled with her for about 2hrs to get to sleep. She eventually wore herself out from screaming. I went to bed too, hoping the gaffa tape would keep the rain out.
The next day the sun came out and I thought things might improve. The gaffa tape had held up. Surely we could have a nice walk around Byron and then play cards in the evening. It turns out that having two babies on different schedules and one who is quite sleep deprived, means things take a while. We eventually got our walk in but had to turn back before the lighthouse as the walk was not too stroller friendly after a certain point. Oh well, we could look forward to cards I thought...
Of course the skies opened up again. Oh well, we still had that square metre of dry space I thought. Then of course, V started screaming. She had found a new peak in volume. It was another two hour battle. The highlight of the evening came when V spat her dummy out on the ground so I went into the caravan to fetch a new sterilised one. As I walked back out of the caravan to give it to her, my feet slipped out from under me on the wet step and I fell right out of the caravan, grazing my neck and hurting my knee. I lay on the ground crying. I'm really not sure if it was because my knee hurt so much, or the trip had just become such a disaster. Eventually V went to sleep and so did I. The cards were not used, the boardgames stayed in the truck.
When we got home late on monday, I thought it would be good to get V back into her routine, but she screamed worse than ever. I had no idea what was wrong or how to settle her. It went on for hours and hours and when she did eventually sleep, it was only for short bursts. I was convinced I had damaged her by taking her camping. The next morning it was more of the same so I made an appointment with the doctor. As we were driving there, V started to sneeze and sniffle in the back of the car and by the time I was parked, it was pretty clear that poor bub had a cold. Things were on the improve I thought, as now I knew what was wrong. I hadn't damaged my child. We could get through this.
I got out of the car and pulled out the pram, only to discover that it was broken. Icing on the cake there.
The last few days have been pretty crappy. V sleeps for about 20 mins at a time and screams most the time she is awake. This morning I managed to pay some bills and eat breakfast. This is a huge accomplishment compared to what I have in the last two days. At some point I plan to start running again and getting things done. I just have to get over this wonderful cold that I have caught.
Still though, I am already planning our next trip. We will take a tarp or two this time, and make sure the camp sites are next to each other.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Good Days
I feel I need to start this with a disclaimer, before I get slammed. I understand that some parents who have babies who don't sleep, or are doing it on their own, or have twins (or more), or have an older kid/s and a baby, or have a baby with colic or special needs. I completely understand and feel for parents who don't get good days, or seldomly get good days.
I just wish people had told me beforehand, that good days happen. I guess a few people did, but for the most part I was told, and read about, how difficult it is to be a parent. The whole idea that it is the hardest job in the world, you never see your friends again, you work 24-7 blah blah blah. Maybe that is the reality for some people but I thought it might be the only reality once you spawned. When I mentioned that I might get some reading done while on mat leave, I was laughed at. I had started to imagine this situation where I got about 2hours of sleep a night and just did laundry and dealt with a screaming baby all day. The truth is though, for me at least, it is actually pretty good. In addition to having this magical, wonderful little bub, life in general is pretty good.
This is what a good day is like:
I get woken once or twice to feed bub during the night. This involves being up for about 20-30mins at a time. I wake up for the day around 7 and get bub dressed (the novelty of baby clothes is yet to wear off). We then spend about an hour hanging out on her play mat while she coos and ahs at her toys and gives me big smiles. She trys to roll over a bit but we still aren't there yet. Then she has a nap for about 90mins so I do a bit of laundry and clean up, then whatever takes my fancy. When she is up again we play some more, or I read to her, or sing nursery rhymes and make a general dick of myself, but she seems to find it very entertaining. Then she sleeps again. I usually take her out for a walk in her pram in the afternoon, or I put her in the Maduka carrier and go for a walk through the forest. She usually gets a bit cranky around 4, even on a good day, so I give her a bath around 4:30 to calm her down. She has fun pushing herself off the edge of the bath with her legs. We play more. We read a book. She goes to bed at 7. There are obviously nappy changes, feeds, sometimes a few outfit changes and a few chores that get done but all in all, I think it is pretty good. Beats my usual day job.
There are also the days we go out which are lots of fun. We go to nursery rhymes, or walking with friends, or just visiting people. I tend to get out and about a lot with bub. It throws out her routine sometimes, but it is no big deal.
Most of all though, I just love being a mum. I love watching her develop every day. I love discovering her personality. I love the cute gummy smile and baby talk. People did tell me about that of course.
Of course there are bad days, but they aren't as common as I thought they would be.
I just wish people had told me beforehand, that good days happen. I guess a few people did, but for the most part I was told, and read about, how difficult it is to be a parent. The whole idea that it is the hardest job in the world, you never see your friends again, you work 24-7 blah blah blah. Maybe that is the reality for some people but I thought it might be the only reality once you spawned. When I mentioned that I might get some reading done while on mat leave, I was laughed at. I had started to imagine this situation where I got about 2hours of sleep a night and just did laundry and dealt with a screaming baby all day. The truth is though, for me at least, it is actually pretty good. In addition to having this magical, wonderful little bub, life in general is pretty good.
This is what a good day is like:
I get woken once or twice to feed bub during the night. This involves being up for about 20-30mins at a time. I wake up for the day around 7 and get bub dressed (the novelty of baby clothes is yet to wear off). We then spend about an hour hanging out on her play mat while she coos and ahs at her toys and gives me big smiles. She trys to roll over a bit but we still aren't there yet. Then she has a nap for about 90mins so I do a bit of laundry and clean up, then whatever takes my fancy. When she is up again we play some more, or I read to her, or sing nursery rhymes and make a general dick of myself, but she seems to find it very entertaining. Then she sleeps again. I usually take her out for a walk in her pram in the afternoon, or I put her in the Maduka carrier and go for a walk through the forest. She usually gets a bit cranky around 4, even on a good day, so I give her a bath around 4:30 to calm her down. She has fun pushing herself off the edge of the bath with her legs. We play more. We read a book. She goes to bed at 7. There are obviously nappy changes, feeds, sometimes a few outfit changes and a few chores that get done but all in all, I think it is pretty good. Beats my usual day job.
There are also the days we go out which are lots of fun. We go to nursery rhymes, or walking with friends, or just visiting people. I tend to get out and about a lot with bub. It throws out her routine sometimes, but it is no big deal.
Most of all though, I just love being a mum. I love watching her develop every day. I love discovering her personality. I love the cute gummy smile and baby talk. People did tell me about that of course.
Of course there are bad days, but they aren't as common as I thought they would be.
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