H is For...

I went for a walk with two new mums last week and finally somebody mentioned the 'H' word. The word I have been to embarrassed/mortified to mention since giving birth. The affliction that left me in far more pain and discomfort than any stitches or weakened pelvic floor. Nobody ever told me you could get hemorrhoids from pushing during labour! Well, oh my, you can! I had heard of this happening during the pregnancy so I ate four pieces of fruit every single day and managed to avoid the discomfort, but alas, I still got some eventually. As it turns out, trying to push out something the size of a watermelon involves a lot of straining and straining causes hemorrhoids.

After the birth, nobody mentioned them still. Doctors only seemed concerned about the pelvic floor, stitches and checking my abdomen. The regular things that I knew could be an issue after giving birth. When I appeared pained, friends would ask if I got stitches. I said yes, which was true, but it wasn't the cause of the pain.

The big H, as I like to call them, were by far the most difficult thing to recover from post pregnancy. V was in special care, so I had to go over to that ward to feed her and sit on these god awful hard chairs. V was also very small and a bit weak so she would fall asleep during feeds. This meant I had to sit on one of those horrid chairs for a good 1.5-2 hrs, 8 times each day. Eventually I was offered a cushion. I found this a bit strange when I already had a cushion of hemorrhoids. Oh and I should mention, the hospital bathrooms do not have nice, soft Kleenex toilet paper. Not even close.

Hearing these two other mums mention the dreaded H word was liberating. Finally I could winge about this affliction! Finally I didn't feel like some kind of freak with an embarrassing ailment. OK maybe that is going too far, but it is nice to know I am not the only one. It got me wondering how common it is, and why nobody mentions it. I get that it is embarrassing, but so is incontinence and that gets talked about. I even see facebook memes about that. Where are the childbirth hemorroid memes?

Again, childbirth sucks. Have I mentioned that before?

It's Not Beautiful

Some crazies out there think that pregnancy and birth are beautiful. Late in my pregnancy, some friends would rub my belly and look longingly into the distance saying, "Oh I miss that". My general response was "EH?" Why would anybody miss feeling like a beached whale, unable to sleep or eat cheese or have a drink. They must be lying, surely. Don't get me started on the people who think birthing is beautiful. You lose all dignity. ALL DIGNITY! Before giving birth I was worried I might do number twos during labour but to be honest, I don't even know if I did and I really wouldn't have cared either way. I have no idea what else came out when I pushed my baby girl out. I don't plan on asking those present either.

My honest experience was that pregnancy sucked and giving birth sucked a whole lot more. I am not trying to scare soon to be mothers, just give my honest experience. I don't want to sugarcoat it. This certainly won't be everybody's experience, but it is all I have to go by.

Oh, and I have a high pain threshold. I run ultra marathons (albeit slowly). I ran on a fractured foot for months before I even realised that it hurt a bit and another few months before I decided it hurt enough to do something about. Labour was far more painful that the toughest ultra I have ever done. There were no 'walk breaks', no check points, no pacers,no DNF option. The result was pretty tops though, and I plan on doing it all over again in a few years.